A Spider Has Bitten Me On The Ass

That’s right, a spider has bitten me on the ass. How do I know it was a spider? I can’t say for sure. I never saw the sucker. Yet, after close inspection by my significant other, it has been verified that there are two little entry points at the center of quarter-sized red welt on my upper-left butt cheek which could be miniscule fang marks.

(…Much thanks to my girlfriend for undertaking what could have been a shitty job…)

Can ya believe it? I haven’t written in a while because I haven’t really had any news to report. I’ve just been buckling down and trying to get focused; and finally, when I do get some news, it’s that a spider has bitten my ass.

I feel like Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump when he’s describing what it’s like to be shot in the buttocks. “The goven’ment said it was a million dollar wound… but the goven’ment must keep that money ’cause I still ain’t seen a nickel a’ that money…”

Part of me want’s to be mad and say, “What the hell!?” But a bigger part of me just laughs (because it really is kind of funny) and says, “Ah, the hell with it…” Besides, what’s getting mad going to do?

So… between having to adjust the way I sit from time to time to alleviate some pain, googling spider bites for info and monitoring my ass for swelling and/or further discoloration that would send me to the hospital for antibiotics I have also had my spider-bitten ass kicked in a couple of surf sessions this week, continued quietly forward on some major business decisions and gone kayaking with my brother and his family.

It’s been quite a week. Welcome to the new (yet same old) It’s Simple In That Complicated Sort Of Way… Remember to check your bed for brown recluse’s and take lessons from life’s curve balls.

Having a sense of humor doesn’t hurt either. Keep it simple…


One response to “A Spider Has Bitten Me On The Ass

  1. So I wrote out a comment with cute stuff. The thing wouldn’t put it in because I didn’t enter an email address. That sucks.

    Sorry about your butt. Tough to get your ass kicked by a bug.

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